I’ve been writing and re-writing this particular post for months, and now that it’s  Father’s Day I am driven to finish it.

This past January 11, 2010, my Dad passed away unexpectedly with a sudden massive heart attack.  He is the reason I have gray hair.

Dad was one of the few that didn’t think it strange when I kept my full crown of glory at such a “young” age.  At least he didn’t tell me it was strange.  In fact he was proud to say that I had inherited his gray hair, and in the last few years I attributed that fact to him when sharing with others.

Dad was by no means perfect, none of us are, but he was the one I could always depend on, no matter what.  He was always there at the drop of a hat whenever my sister or I needed him. And of course Dad knew everything, much to my poor husband’s dismay. Dad was always the second opinion (who quickly became the only opinon!) and the expert when it came to all things automotive.  I went to him on advice for various things and I still have the urge to call him when I need that advice.

Not only did Dad and I have our gray hair in common, but we both loved “old things” and being in the mountains. He was always calling me with something he had “found” at an auction, junk shop or yard sale.  It was not uncommon for him to purchase some of those “treasures” and show up on my doorstep like a cat that swallowed a canary, to show off the bargain he had found and leave it for me, whether I wanted it or not.  I’m glad I kept those treasures.

As a child all our vacations were in the mountains, and as an adult dad bought a “family” cabin in the mountains, but we all knew it was really just for him!  In the mountains is where he felt most at home, where he “belonged”, where he felt peace.  I never understood that until I moved to the mountains. I’ll just bet that God has given Dad the ultimate cabin surrounded by mountains even more majestic than here on earth.

I’m glad I haven’t covered my gray in the past several years because it connected dad and I even more. And now, everytime I look in the mirror I see my dad, and that’s not a bad thing at all, no, not a bad thing at all.

I thank God for the genetic inheritance Dad left me.

“I lift up my eyes to the hills – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”  ~ Psalm 121:1

copywrite 2010



Women of Faith


For those who know me well know that when I “grow up” I want to be Patsy Clairmont, one of the many Godly women who make up the Conference team of “Women of Faith”. 

My favorite “things” about the Women of Faith Conference, are the “gray speakers”, Patsy Clairmont, Marilyn Meburg and Luci Swindoll who have inspired me spiritually for many years and eventually helped me in my confidence of going and staying gray.  These women, who speak to literally millions of women each year, along with their gray hair, are funny, spiritual, professional and most importantly, real.

It is my experience that my gray hair has made me more “real”. I no longer wonder if everyone is focused on those stray wirey gray strands that look like antannae pointed towards Roswell, NM. Instead, I focus on what God has me to say, whether to a friend or a small church group.

Hats off (literally!), to the Women of Faith speakers for helping us to focus on God and who believe that Gray is Ok!

Gray hair is a crown of glory…. ~Proverbs 16:31

Me (pre-“au-naturale”) & Patsy Clairmont 2004

MckLinky Blog Hop

A “Cure” for Gray Hair?

I just recently read an article titled, The Gray Hair “Cure”  proclaiming that scientists are saying that a “cure” for gray hair is near. A cure?  Ok, first let’s look at the Webster’s definition of cure:  recovery or relief from a disease b : something (as a drug or treatment) that cures a disease. 

Have I missed something? When did gray hair become a disease? Now let’s look at the definition of diseasea condition of the living animal or plant body or of one of its parts that impairs normal functioning and is typically manifested by distinguishing signs and symptoms 3 : a harmful development.  Excuse me?! I don’t ever recall my hair assisting me in getting dressed, walking or talking before it turned gray in order for my “normal functioning” to be impaired.  My hair does have a tendency to frizz in humidity, would that be considered a “symptom”?  Now, I was somewhat emotionally traumatized when I went full gray, paranoid that everyone was looking at my hair. Would that be considered a “harmful development”? 

Here’s another article in Newsweek: This one states, “Science gets closer to finding a way to reverse the graying process without hair color.” In other words, take a pill and your gray hair will go away! Do we really need another useless pill or injection for “relief or recovery” from something that does not harm us?

Mark my word, the media will convince us that our gray hair is a disease needing to be cured and we will follow blindly to the bank to give the powers that be our money to cure us.

Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not comform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…~Romans 12:1-2

copyrite 2010

Men vs Women

Occasionally I’ll receive emails or messages from women who have read a Gray is Ok! entry that they have or haven’t enjoyed. But recently I received a message from a young man that has been reading this blog. I must admit, that I never think that men may be reading. So, men this one is for you!

I just don’t get it. Why is it that when your hair turns gray you are “aging gracefully”, but if we women don’t color our gray, we “look older”?  It’s not your fault that you look better gray than colored or toupee’d, in fact, most women I know prefer their men gray and society certainly accepts your hair, or lack of. 

For the past few years I have been following a local newspaper who gives an annual free makeover to three people.  They always try and give one to a willing man. In each and every case, if the participants are “older” and their before photo exhibits gray hair, the after photos will always leave the man with his gray, but the woman has been colored! And there’s always the comment like, “With Dave’s new fashion wardrobe his gray hair gives him a more sophisticated appeal”.  For the woman it’s, “Kathy looks tired and frumpy with her gray hair so making her a blonde has given her a fresh new look.”  Ok, so Dave probably already felt confident with his gray and Kathy doesn’t, so let’s boost her confidence by changing the beauty that God gave her?  

Men, I’d like to encourage you to let the “Kathy’s” in your life  know how beautiful they are with gray hair. Let her know that God gave her the beauty that adorns her head and love her for it. That’s what builds confidence.  And as for you, don’t cover that gray with color or a “rug”, be proud of what God has given you.

 Does the Bible say anything about men and gray hair? Yes sir! Proverbs 20:29 says,  The glory of young men is their strength: and the beauty of old men is the grey head.  So men don’t worry about losing the strength of your younger years and bask in the “beauty” of your age.  And women, God’s Word says nothing about our beauty fading  just because we have gray hair.  And for all of us, remember that He points out in Proverbs 16:31, that with our gray comes wisdom, and that ain’t so bad.

The lamp of the Lord searches the spirit of a man; it searches out his inmost being.      ~ Proverbs 20:27


copyrite 2009

In a Room Full of Gray Haired Women

bibles sepia

I have recently started attending a community bible study. I was placed in a class with “older” women, which did not surprise me. What did surprise me was that my young friend Melissa was there. As I looked around the class of 15 or so women, I noticed that 10 of us had gray hair and all of us had bi-focals (except for my young friend).  I was thrilled to see so many with natural hair, but even more than that, I was curious as to why someone so young would be in that class? Wouldn’t she feel out of place?

As I watched her I realized that she either didn’t notice she was in a room full of old women, or she just didn’t care. Or was it that she allowed God to place her where He wanted her to be?

1 Timothy 5:2 tells us that we are to treat older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. Ok, so I guess in a sense I’m her mother and she’s my sister. Why not my daughter? Is that so I won’t give her  that “motherly” advice tone of voice? Come on now, be honest, do we always listen to our mothers? Or is it because as a sister we are more “equal” in communication? 

Titus 2:4 – 5 tells us older women to “train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the Word of God.” A-ha! so we can give motherly advice! But, let’s back up a bit.  In 1 Timothy it tells us to treat the younger women “with purity”.  So, we can’t train, or give that motherly advice unless we are pure. Yep. We can’t be gossiping about Betty Jean or flirting with Henrietta’s husband and properly advise young women.

So, whatever Melissa’s reasons are for being in the gray haired women’s class, I’m glad she’s there. I hope we can all appreciate her and not overwhelm her with too much “mothering”.  And I hope she can overlook the forgetful minds of age and the 14 pair of eyes peering over their bifocals.

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.”  ~1 Timothy 4:12

copyrite 2009

Florence Nightengale Where Are You?


The whole month of August is a blur to me. I was hospitalized with an extremely painful and life threatening episode of pulmonary embolism, with multiple blood clots in both lungs. A week later I was hospitalized again with pneumonia and pleurisy.

But enough about that. Let’s talk about nurses shall we? Having had multiple ear surgeries since the age of five, I am no stranger to hospitals.

First of all, all day shift nurses have the appearance of a 12 year old, (when did nurses get so young?)  Apparently my gray hair screamed to them, “TALK TO HER AS IF SHE HAS DEMENTIA AND CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU!” Granted they were all very sweet, but sometimes a little too sweet, you know what I mean? As in “pat your hand” and “dearie” sweet. I’m not in a nursing home yet for pete’s sake!

For some reason most all the “older” nurses are relegated to the night shift. What’s worse, not a single one of them wore their hair gray, but they did compliment me on mine, “if my gray looked like yours I wouldn’t color anymore.” hmmm….. really?

And the nurse doesn’t even wake you in the middle of the night  for your vitals anymore. The Aide in the scrub pants and rubber “crocs” with the snake tattoo much too eagerly throws the light switch on above your bed sending you into a Frankenstein upright position before ripping the velcro on the blood pressure cuff without saying a word.  Oh how I longed to hear the swish, swish of crisp, starched white uniforms from my childhood and looking up in the middle of the night to see a Florence Nightengale angel like face with gray hair pinned up under a white triangle cap.

But in all fairness, both hospital stays were good, as far as hospitals go. And it’s ok that times have changed in the last 40+ years as far as dress code goes, as long as the care is good.

Isn’t that how it is with Christians? We may look different now from the days of the disciples or even from the Jesus Freaks of the 1970’s, but as long as we continue to care for others in the name of Jesus, it doesn’t matter to Him what we look like. 

“For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited Me in. I needed clothes and you clothed Me, I was sick and you looked after Me, I was in prison and you came to visit Me…I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it for Me.”  ~ Jesus

copyrite 2009

Let Freedom Ring!


Last weekend was my 30 year high school class reunion. I was the only female, that I noticed, that had “let it all hang out”. There were a few men that were gray, but don’t we always expect men to gray? Out of 60 classmates, I was the only woman with a “crown”.  Maybe there were women who didn’t show up because of their gray? I hope that wasn’t the case. There was one friend that had strands of gray that you had to have a magnifying glass to see, who told me that she was letting it turn natural, good for her!  What was evident was that we were all still beautiful whether we colored or not, especially the ones who let their inner beauty shine through.

I was pleasantly surprised and found it interesting that men wanted to talk to me about my hair, bald and gray men.  They talked about the freedom  they feel in their natural state.  Wow! That’s exactly how I feel! Wait, is that a good thing to feel the same freedom as an aging man? 

In Psalm 119:45, David is praying to God to help him to be bold in his witness in saying, “I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out Your precepts.”  If we have a relationship with Jesus, for the Christian, freedom means celebrating the birth of Jesus every day, not just one weekend out of the year when we celebrate the birth of our nation.  Real freedom is going to allow us to feel good in our “own skin”, whether we are bald, gray, fat, thin, dyed, or have a full head of hair. How does a Christian obtain that freedom? Just as David said, by seeking out God. Not Dr. Phil, Oprah, Dillard’s or our hairdresser. And just like David, when we have that freedom we should share it with others.

My prayer for you this 4th of July holiday is that you’ll experience true freedom in your life.

copyrite 2009